Before I begin, I must point out that I’m not much of a writer. As I start to do the blogging thing more frequently, I realize that sometimes when I try to express my thoughts in written form, it just doesn’t seem to come out the way that I want it to. Nonetheless, here I go…
I truly treasure my dearest friends. I don’t have a lot of them… many acquaintances and many friends, but very few DEAR friends. The select few that I can confide in, trust in, and have that same commitment and trust from me. Sometimes they are someone who you’ve been close to for a very long time… sometimes they are someone that you haven’t had that sort of history with, but somehow have that unspoken and effortless connection with.
There are certain qualities that these dear friends have that make them special to me… not that other friends lack these qualities, but the ones special to you are the ones you know without a doubt that you can rely on for a different level of communication. It can’t always been explained, but you just feel it.
Consistency: No Flip-Flopping
I’ve learned by experience the importance of being consistent in words and actions, and when it comes to your closest relationships it is that much more critical. I am fed up with wishy washy nonsense from folks, whether they been acquaintances, family, or co-workers. It’s a shame when you can’t take a person’s words at face value because that person has become notorious for flip-flopping as soon as it’s convenient for them. Then when you you call them on it, you get some crap excuse similar to "well that was different" or sometimes they just dismiss or ignore it.
Now this doesn’t mean that you got to folks expecting the same type of response from them every time. A dear friend’s consistency is in not having to second guess their words, or suspecting that they’re gonna flip flop on you when it’s good for them. You can take it to heart and know that they really mean what they say.
I like to think that I’m pretty good when it comes to thinking objectively. When I disagree with something, I’m usually able to take a step back and try to view the situation from multiple perspectives and weigh that against my own viewpoint to make the most objective decision/opinion possible. Nonetheless, it seems like common sense to me that to get a truly objective viewpoint, you need to get it from more than your own brain. So to be able to got to that dear friend that is like-minded in their attempt to be objective when giving advise is a quality that shouldn’t be undervalued.
Be real, whether it’s favorable or not
Sometimes when we’re seeking the advice or counseling of others, what we want to hear and what we need to hear may be completely different. A real friend isn’t one that just tickles your ears and fills your head with what you want ot hear and what makes you feel good inside. Sometimes they’ll need to tell you something that might offend or even hurt you… but they’re doing it for your good.
The problem here is that some folks have real friends, and can’t appreciate it because they don’t want the real answer. They really want to hear the convenient answer, the answer that favors them, the answer that they feels justifies their mess, even if it’s not the correct answer. So, sadly, they’ll turn from their true friends and run to the people that will scratch their itching ears just right.
I thank God that not only do I have people in my life that can and will tell me about myself when I need to be told, but that I’m humble enough to take it even if it stings.
I know this is just the tip of the iceberg on this subject. I’ll point out that as much as I try to exhibit these same quality to those that are dear to me, I’m still working on myself. We all are, we’re not perfect, and we sometimes come up short in these very same qualities that I’ve described. Lord knows I have. But there’s a huge difference between sometimes falling short and constantly laying down because the effort isn’t even being made.
That said, I encourage each of you to take the time to appreciate the ones that you hold dear, the ones that you love, the ones that you depend on to keep you straight… and work just as hard to be that same friend for them.