Fantasy Etiquette: A Smarter Way To Trade

Now that I’m in my 4th year of Fantasy Football, I guess I can say that I’m completely hooked.  I don’t mess around… I work smart trades, my waiver game is tight, and I handle my business.  In this time, I’ve been offered and heard of some of the most ridiculous trades known to man.  It’s great for entertainment (there’s one person that I can count on for lots of laughs, even though he’s serious).  What folks fail to realize is that when you’re throwing out seriously lopsided trade offers fishing for a sucker, you pretty much guarantee that you will get no respect and will not be taken seriously at all.

With that, I’ve come up with some FFL Trade Etiquette rules for the dummies err, I mean… “average” FFL participate to follow. Continue reading “Fantasy Etiquette: A Smarter Way To Trade”

Sometimes…

Sometimes…

I want to say “I quit”, even though I’m not giving up.

I want to say “forget it” but it stays fresh in my mind

I don’t want to show frustrations, but still want it to be acknowledged

I feel like I’m losing, even though I know I will win

I feel like I’ve been set up for failure, yet poised for success

I cry, but understand that my tears don’t make me any less of a man

I want empathy, but have no need of anyone’s pity

I feel that I’m lacking, even thought I have everything that I need

I want to do the right thing, but for the wrong reason

I feel like my thoughts are scrambled, even though my steps are ordered

Sometimes I start writing, then forget what the purpose was

Sometimes… I don’t need one.

Awww HECK naw!

I made these comments on a friends page on Facebook who posted this video, and I just had to blog it as well…

http://www.whoisthemonkey.com/videos/23/son-slaps-mom-on-dr-phil

If you just watched that and are a parent that believes in “spare the rod, spoil the child”, then you’re probably hype and ready to break off a pillar to crack this boy’s behind with.  Let me count this off…

  1. The second he raised his voice it would have been knocked back down.
  2. The moment he pointed his finger at me like that, he would have drawn back a stump cuz I would have ripped that sucka backwards.
  3. Shut up?!? Did you just tell me to shut up???? OH LAWD GIVE ME SKREMPH CUZ I’M ABOUT TO SHOW THIS BOY WHAT SHUT UP REALLY IS!
  4. Wanna lay some hands, eh? Aiiiight… Call the cops in advance, and tell them to bring Child Protective Serivces with them. Have some family members put together cash for some bail money and a good lawyer, then meet me at the jail. Hire some contractors and tell them to be ready to replace some windows and walls… While y’all getting all that together, I’ll be doing some remodeling of lil man’s face with said objects needing repair. Not a whuppin’… a BEATING. One of those “oh you think you grown and can take me??” beatings.

I hope that kid gets a good ol’ fashioned community beating, where any adult in authority within 10 miles comes to line up and put in some work on his behind.

Daddy’s Favorite Noggin Shows

Let me preface this by saying that my wife and I are not the type of parents that lets the TV raise our kids. These days, there is just way too much of that going on. Kids get sent to some crappy daycare of babysitter who sometimes parks them in front of the TV, then they come home and it’s either more TV or video games.

We make it a point to spend a ton of time with him, talking to him (not a bunch of baby babble talk either), and read to him (which, admittedly, we don’t do enough of lately). As he discovers new things, we make ourselves part of the process. For example, when we he discovered “himself” and would reach and grab during a diaper change, we’d tell him “Yes Evan, your penis is still there.” He may not have a clue as to what’s going on, but we’re setting a foundation in him… proper names for things, behavior, etc.

But as much as we interact with him, it’s almost inevitable that he’s gonna see the TV. Whether he’s sitting in a room with us, or playing and walking endless circles around whatever object happens to be on the floor, the TV will probably be on at some point and it will get his attention.

That said… our living room TV is set to “Noggin” quite a bit.  There are shows that clearly draw Evan’s attention more than others… and the same goes for Mom and Dad.  Tiana and I have our favorites that, in the occasional fit of silliness, we find ourselves enjoying more than Evan.  Here are a few that I like…

The Backyardigans – What can I say… Evan loves this show, and so do I for my own reasons.  The characters are unique, the presentation is vibrant, and their adventures are imaginative, creative, and just plain fun.  But what I like most is the music.  This show brings quite an array of tunes from all sorts of genres.  These kids can get down, and even be downright funky when they wanna.

Wonderpets – My wife thought this show was ultra-cute from the start.  I make a habit of mocking it whenever I could just to mess with her.  Truthfully, the show is cute.  Each episode they set out to rescue some young critter errr.. varmint I mean… animal in trouble.  The learn lessons along the way, but the biggest theme for the show is teamwork.  I still love to mock the show to my wife for my own amusement… in particular, how the parents of the resued baby whatever always show up after the fact (hehehehe).  But it is a very good show for the kiddies.

Little Bill – From the mind of Bill Cosby comes something refreshing… a kids show with a black family that isn’t cheesy.  Little Bill demonstrates a lot of the dynamics that occur in a family like this, and addresses a lot of those things in such a way that kids can understand and make sense of the things that happen in real life, while still learning the life lessons that you’d expect.

The Upside Down Show – This show is one of those learning shows that lean more on the “goofy fun” side… and it’s just that.  These two guys are SIL-LY, and very entertaining as they go on new adventures while discovering something “for the first time”.  You can tell that they are ginuinely having a great time while doing what they do best.  This is one of the few shows that can make Evan consistently stop what he’s doing to watch and laugh.

That’s all for now.  There are a few shows that get on my absolute last nerve… maybe I’ll post about those another time.

Yesterday, I wanted to kick a little girl…

I was at Fry’s checking out the Mac section of the store. I’m a Windows user, and wanted to get a quick feel for what Macs are all about. I was already kinda irritated, because it’s a big store and there seemed to be a multitude of little kids running around unsupervised (stupid parents don’t watch the news these days???). So I’m playing around on one of the mac systems, digging some of it’s features, finding my way around. Then this little girl comes up and starts poking around for no apparent reason, hits the power button on the machine I was using, and walks off.

WHAT THE HAM SAMMICH?!?

When the screen went black and I turned to see her leaving, I felt my leg twitch. I wanted to get a running start and kick the living crap out of her. She probably would have landed somewhere in appliances on the other side of the store had I turned it loose. All I needed was that red alert music from Kill Bill and it would have been ON.

Pardon me while I visit the Tribe… CAN I KICK HER?? YESSHA CAN!!!